I miss him deeply
I was in a situationship with an avoidant guy for 9 months, and it ended a year ago. I still miss him deeply, even though the relationship was emotionally painful.
At first, he acted like he was in love with me. He called me cute nicknames, said I would be his wife, and we spent almost all our time together. I met his family, stayed at his house often, and he stayed at mine. We went on dates, had sex, and he was my first everything.
But he never fully committed to me. Eventually, he started saying we were “never actually a couple,” even though we basically acted like one. He constantly blocked and unblocked me over minor inconveniences — probably around 10 times during those 9 months. Every breakup felt sudden and cruel.
He also hid me from his friends. I met his family, but never his social circle, which always made me feel confused and insecure.
After the final breakup, he blocked me everywhere and never looked back. I tried to talk to him, even went to his house begging him to unblock me, but he refused to even come outside.
What hurts most is that before me, he had a 4-year relationship where he fully committed, lived with the girl, and built a real life with her. With me, it felt like he wanted all the emotional and physical intimacy without the responsibility of an actual relationship.
I know this is probably a trauma bond, but I still miss him constantly. The attraction and chemistry were intense, and nobody compares to him in my mind. Sometimes I keep wondering what I could have done differently.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of attachment after an avoidant relationship?