u/Flashingbox

When i was little both me and my older sister were called really cute and everyone wanted to hold us, this even happened to my youngest sister but like even extra, fast forward to when i was in middle school, i started to look ugly as hell. Got treated as such but i managed to have friends, however i moved in 8th grade and had to start fresh. In 9th grade i was in a new state and ugly as fuck while my sisters were considered the attractive ones, both of them. I made no friends no girls were interested in me. I think I actively repelled people, worst part of my day was trying to find somewhere to sit during lunch. Like it was the trope u see in movies where the loser kid couldnt find anywhere to sit during lunch. All the while my sister who was a grade above me had a nice friend group day one and had boyfriends. She would constantly make fun of the fact i couldnt get in a relationship or have any friends. But she still wanted to act like we were still close how we were growing up. Kinda shows that normal people can’t comprehend that struggling with either attracting a partner or friends, looks play the biggest role initially (much more for the former). She thought i struggled because i didnt talk to anyone, but she hasn’t seen the failures, the embarrassment, the ick that shows on peoples faces when they interact with me. Im in college now and i would say i had a “glow up” my face is clear and i grew more into my features. would say im probably somewhat tolerable, still cant look in the mirror for long. Didnt make any friends and i tried to be nice to my teacher but i think i just creeped her out. I would say hello but she didnt like me speaking i guess she seemed to find it creepy, giving me a disgusted look. She would say hello back but holy hell i hate seeing that look on peoples faces makes me want to die, its the reason trying to be social always backfires in my case cause me to be even more socially awkward. Hurts too because i had a really cute girl in my group that was polite to me and thats all it took for me to fall in love even though she would most definitely reject me. And what hurts the most is that my younger sister literally lives a different lifestyle compared to me, her friends parents take her places all the time sometimes even out of state. Shes going to japan with her friend and her family, for free. Everyone who is her friend seemingly has a crush on her or has dated her. Cant even comprehend that. Makes me realize how shit my life is in comparison.