u/Flamingo11-11

I told my parents about my girlfriend and a trip we planned to New York together, and it completely blew up. They already didn’t approve of the relationship, but after hearing about the trip they told me to cancel it and straight up said they think I should slowly start ending things with her.

My mom told me if I go on the trip she’ll cut me off. I just graduated college and was planning to work with my family after graduation, so now I feel like my entire future is hanging over this decision.

The thing is, I genuinely care about my girlfriend. She’s been good to me and hasn’t done anything wrong besides not fitting what my parents wanted for me. But now I feel stuck between my relationship and my family, and either way I lose something important.

Part of me wants to go because I’m an adult and I don’t want fear controlling my decisions. Another part of me feels sick thinking about permanently damaging my relationship with my parents.

I honestly don’t know what to do.

EDIT: if you have a snarky remark keep it :)

I’ve been dating this girl for about 5 months now, and personality-wise I genuinely love being around her. We click really well. One thing I love most is that I can fully be myself around her. I can show the weird, goofy side of me and instead of judging me or getting awkward about it, she joins in and actually loves my quirks. That’s honestly rare for me.

That being said, there are some things that make me question long-term compatibility. For marriage, I’ve always pictured someone more traditional in certain ways. She doesn’t really cook or clean, which is something I personally value in a future wife.

This past weekend during my college graduation, I introduced her to my family. To be fair to them, my parents were very kind and respectful to her the entire time and made sure not to show any disapproval or make her feel uncomfortable. She probably has no idea how they actually felt afterward.

Later on though, my parents told me they would prefer if I ended up with someone Arabic and Muslim, but they also said they understand that love is love and people can make their own choices. Their bigger issue was that they don’t think she “looks” like someone who is meant to be with me. They commented on her weight and also said they think she’s more mature than me in a way they don’t think is healthy for the relationship dynamic.

What hurt the most was my mom even saying she would feel embarrassed introducing her to people and telling others we’re together. Hearing that honestly messed with my head. Like damn was it really that bad.

At the end of the conversation, they basically told me I’m “better off” ending things now because they think she’s already deeply attached to me and wants me for life. Honestly, I can tell they aren’t wrong about how much she loves me. She’s told me multiple times that I’m her dream man and that she feels like we were meant to get married.

Now I feel stuck. Part of me understands my parents’ concerns and can see where they’re coming from, especially for long-term compatibility. But another part of me feels terrible because she genuinely loves me and has been nothing but good to me.

I don’t know if I should end things because of family pressure and compatibility concerns, or if I’m risking losing someone who truly accepts and loves me for who I am. Or even if I should end things but in a month or two just cause I don’t want her to know the truth of what happened.

**TL;DR;** : Been dating a girl for 5 months and personality-wise we click perfectly. She accepts all my quirks and genuinely loves me. I introduced her to my family during my college graduation and while they treated her very kindly in person, afterward they told me they don’t think she’s right for me. They said they’d prefer Arabic/Muslim but mainly think her appearance and maturity level don’t match me, and my mom even admitted she’d feel embarrassed introducing us as a couple. My parents think she’s already deeply attached and wants to marry me. I feel torn because I understand some of their concerns, but I also feel awful because she truly loves me.