u/Flaky-Boysenberry466

It seems as though I come across a lot of people who are able to go on romantic dates, have closeness and intimacy with people who they don’t have feelings for. but the thought of that for me, is just disgusting…to be touched by someone I don’t really like is extremely uncomfortable. And, realizing after I’ve already bonded with someone that the experience we shared meant nothing to them, is devastating.

What do you think it is? How are these people brains wired if they are able to continuously kiss, hold, and even have sex with someone (especially someone they like) and not feel romantic feelings or an attachment for?

And I don’t mean going on a date or two and realizing there is no connection, I mean fully dating someone - seeing them regularly, communicating every day, closeness and even sex for weeks or months.

if you end the relationship because you claimed you didn’t develop deeper feelings, I have to know, what are you expecting to feel that you didn’t already feel in the first week or so? yes, it takes time to know someone, but if you’re enjoying this persons company but you know you’re not really that excited to see them again, are you waiting to have a sudden moment of clarity where you ”fall in love” if the day before you were so neutral about their existence even if you “like” them?

the first few weeks should be INTOXICATING, wow a new person I really like, I want to see them all the time and learn about them and hold their hand and have fun together. and I’m not talking about feeling deeply in love immediately, but just feeling really excited and hopeful.

so, why do you think that - if you don’t feel that way for someone within the first week or two - do you think that’s going to change? like they will walk in the room with a different look on their face and somehow you’ll just *KNOW*?

this is not including if you learn a big red flag or incompatibility with someone at week 5 because that totally makes sense to end a connection if you learn something disgusting about them or you realize you’re not aligned. I’m specifically talking about people who just date someone without really feeling it and are somehow waiting for an “aha” moment to attach

I’m just sick of getting the “I don’t have feelings for you” after spending a beautiful few weeks with someone that I thought was really feeling me so I would like to pick the brain of someone who thinks like the guys who essentially led me on