u/FixFuture3374

Growing up where it wasn't common for boys and girls to be friends, where sexuality was something to be hidden, and due to other trauma that made me feel out of place and unsafe around people in general, it became very difficult for me to talk to women in person. I can text, but that's not enough. And it makes me feel like shit because I don't like this distinction in my brain between men and women, where it is tough to just talk and try to be friends, and even harder to imagine myself in a relationship. Then I hate myself for it and call myself a loser, a weirdo, and an incel. I think it's just my brain trying to justify the pain and fear and my "inaction" by saying it's because I suck and that's why things are like this. But even then, I get scared sometimes that it's actually true, or that because of these thoughts it will become true.

And then you think you have to make it sound cool or interesting and afterwards you feel like you've achieved the opposite of that?