WIBTA if I tell my friend she can’t stay at my place for a year anymore, even though I agreed to it over a year ago?
My friend “Sabrina” and I met 10 years ago when we both moved to a new county and despite being from the same home country we just met when we immigrated. She moved back home about a year later, while I stayed, but we stayed close
In 2021, she lost her job and went through a breakup. I encouraged her to move to a country where we both have second citizenship (not our home country, nor where we met) and pursue higher education because I had been in a similar situation when I was younger and wished someone had given me that advice. She did, she’s doing really well, and I’m very proud of her
That same year, I went through IVF and lost my baby even I was 7 months pregnant. It broke me, and Sabrina was a good friend to me then, despite not living in the same country
I still live in the country where we first met, but in a different city. About two years ago, Sabrina mentioned she might have the chance to study in my city for one year. I have a spare room, so I offered for her to stay with me. I genuinely meant it and was happy to help
Last year, I decided to try again for a baby. I had a failed embryo transfer in October. In December, Sabrina confirmed she would be coming here in September for the one-year program
I still had one embryo left, and she knew I planned to try again. About a month before my next transfer, she suggested we “exchange houses.” I work remotely, so her idea was that I could live where she currently lives, and she could stay in my place
I told her we should put that on hold, because if I got pregnant, I would want to stay where I am, as I feel safer here
A couple of weeks before my transfer, she brought up the house exchange again as if it was a done deal. She also said I “need a partner” and that I could find a handsome partner where she lives. We’ve had this “you need a partner” conversation many times, and I’ve always told her I’m not interested
Because of the timing, it really upset me. It felt like she was more focused on getting my place to herself than on what I was going through, and like she was hoping I wouldn’t get pregnant so the house exchange could happen. I told her that, and she got very upset. Since then, our relationship has felt strained
Now I am pregnant. It’s very early, but after everything, I’m happy and hopeful
Sabrina is supposed to arrive just a couple of months before the baby would be due. Because of my pregnancy, my previous loss, and the tension between us, I’m thinking of telling her she can stay with me for a month or two while she finds another place, but I can’t host her for the full year anymore, especially around the birth/newborn stage
I know I originally offered, and I know she may have planned around that. I don’t want to abandon her, but my circumstances have changed in a major way, and I don’t think I can handle a long-term houseguest while pregnant and then with a newborn
WIBTA?