Edit: 6 months - stupid thumbs.
Happened again, last night.
A few days ago, went on a 4th or 5th date. Things seemed to be going well, and heading towards the bedroom in the next date or two. So, because I am a man of integrity, and before placing her at risk without consent, I gave her the spiel. "Hey, before I put you at risk, I have to let you know I have HSV2, yadda yadda yadda."
She thanked me, and asked for a few days to think about it, because she wanted to do more research on what that meant for her. Which, honestly, was the best possible reaction besides, "So? I don't care."
Yesterday she messages me and gives me the usual, "Thanks for letting me know, but I'm going to opt out and pursue my other matches" rejection. I get it.
I know dating in 2026 is hard for everybody, but it just makes me sad that there's apparently nothing I can do that will ever make me good enough to offset the risk. Every time I disclose, I get the "Nah. I'm going to try with one of my other (not diseased is strongly implied) matches instead" and I'm starting to feel like I'm in a 'beggars don't get to be choosers' scenario. I might be top prospect, until she finds out I'm tainted, then I'm moved to the bottom of the pile.
And the part that hurts most is how I'm actively getting punished for doing the right thing, because someone else lied to me about their own status. I'm beginning to understand why she lied about it.
Sucks, but such is life, and I'm starting to get used to disclosure meaning the end of our association. Which is probably not a bad thing, considering that's what's happened to me since I caught it, and is apparently going to continue happening to me from here on out.
I'm thinking with the next one, I might just pull sex off the table entirely, and see how long I can get that to last. I don't like relationships without a sexual element, but if the risk of contracting it is so overwhelming that it cancels out everything else I bring to the table and causes them to opt out, maybe I can learn to live without, and at least have some semblance of a relationship or (non-physical) intimacy.
Unless, of course, I'm somehow lucky enough to meet somebody else I'm compatible with, who also has this, and we can go be lepers together. It's weird how, in a city of 6 million people, with a prevalence of ~13% in my country, me and the person who gave it to me are apparently the only ones who have it.
I was able to have relationships before contracting this disease, and a series of therapists have been unable to point to any obvious red flags or character flaws in me, so I'm reasonably certain that the disease is to blame. It's.... demoralising, and really starting to affect my self-esteem perceived value as a partner and person.