I (now in my early 20s) went through my first real breakup about 3 years ago. The relationship lasted 2 years, from when I was 18 to 20, and it meant a lot to me.
Looking back, I can admit that I was immature and caused a lot of hurt to my partner. They gave me many chances, but eventually they had enough, broke up with me, and later found someone new. I don’t blame them for it anymore, but it was really hard to deal with.
After the breakup, I didn’t process things in a healthy way. For about a year, I was honestly kind of lost. I tried to fill the emptiness and loneliness with casual relationships and dating. Some of those experiences were actually good, and I met nice people, but I never really gave myself time to just be alone and heal.
Since then, I’ve been dating on and off. I feel like I want a real relationship again, but forming a genuine emotional connection has been really difficult. Even when I meet people who seem great on paper — like they “tick all the boxes” — something just feels missing, and I can’t seem to build that deeper connection.
Casual relationships don’t really work for me anymore either. They leave me feeling empty in the end, so I’ve been trying to move away from that.
I’m still hopeful that I’ll find a meaningful relationship again someday, but at the same time it feels really far away. It worries me that I’ve been single and dating for this long without finding that connection, and I’m starting to fear that maybe I won’t feel it again.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? Did it get better for you?