As the title says, I reverted one week ago (4/27/26). For the first few days it was amazing, i learned how to pray, I went to Jummah and took my shahadah again, and I've been doing well on my final exams to boot.
But there's been this underlying anxiety within me. What if I made the wrong choice? What if I don't actually believe in this? What if I regret it or change my mind later? I've only been seriously studying Islam since September and I don't feel like I know enough. Most importantly, I can't explain to people why exactly I took the shahadah.
I told the imam I was afraid to die a non-Muslim and wanted to take it, so we called in a few of my Muslim friends and completed it. So to some degree I obviously fear suffering for eternity. I have been given a very thorough explanation of Islam, so if I rejected it, I was afraid of going to Jahanam. (Ofc I also believe in the oneness of Allah and in prophet muhammad pbuh)
I've never been a good rhetorician or debater - I'm way too anxious for that lol. So my biggest fear is telling my atheist parents about my conversion.
I'm graduating from college in about 2 weeks, so I'm afraid they'll think I've completely lost it. I tried talking to them about religion a few times in my teens but it never really went anywhere. They knew I was meeting with the Imam but figured it was for general counseling.
I'm moving back home from college next week. I've been praying five times a day but have no idea how I'll accomplish that at home. They both work at home (my mom's fully remote and my dad is hybrid), they want us to keep our doors open in the day, there's no lock on it, and they tend to come in randomly without knocking.
Basically, I have to tell them. I have no choice. I do not want to lie to them, I respect them too much to do that. We have an amazing relationship. I don't drink, don't do drugs, don't date, I'm graduating a year early and I'm moving to Ireland in August to get my masters (which means I'll be independent in 4 months).
TLDR; I'm just asking for some advice on this, anything anyone can offer, although if a female athiest-raised revert somehow sees this I would love to hear from you