Nobody talks about how difficult it is to be with someone for so many years and the fear of eventually separating and having to start all over again.
This is more of a rant. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years; this year will mark 11 years since we decided to be together. Lately, our relationship hasn't been going so well. I've been thinking about what it would be like if we broke up, but I'm full of fears. We bought a house together, and I'm incredibly embarrassed to have to sell it and move back in with my parents; I feel like a failure. The worst part is that I feel like 10 years of my life were wasted, and now it's too late to start over, even though I'm only turning 27 this year.
The worst part is that the only reason I want to separate from him is the lack of connection we've had since we started living together (we started living together in September 2025). It seems that this lack of connection on my part is due to no longer being able to cope with his personality. I feel that I've grown, changed, and I can no longer align myself with his ideas.
I can't understand how I went from being completely in love with him to not being able to feel anything anymore. I'm a very intense and sensitive person, and that intensified with age, and our flame started to die out, I think perhaps because of routine. He's an excellent person, he's never let me down, and if I could, I would do anything to feel what I felt for him again, but right now I feel hopeless. There are times when I've suffered so much thinking about the idea of separation that I've told myself that sometimes it would be better if I had never met him and we had never ruined each other's lives.