UK: Niqabi in Manchester Feeling Isolated – Struggling Socially and Seeking Support Locally
Edit - DMs from men will not be responded to. This post is clearly aimed at women, for advice from women (explicitly written) and I've politely stated DMs from women only at the bottom in my original post. To read this and then still DM, that is deliberate. Please learn to respect women's boundaries and fear Allah with your intentions.
TL;DR: UK aimed post: I'm struggling with my relationship with the niqab due to the challenges it brings in communication, isolation, and daily life which is compounded by my social anxiety. I’m trying to stay strong, but it can feel overwhelming at times, especially without anyone around me who can relate. I’m looking for advice from sisters who have experienced something similar, and hoping to connect with like-minded sisters, ideally those who also observe the niqab nearby. I'd love to connect and be friends.
Assalamualaykum,
I’ve tried posting in a few other spaces but haven’t had luck finding support, so I thought I’d try here. Using a throwaway account.
I’m a niqabi based in Manchester and wanted to ask if there are any local sisters in the UK, especially those who also wear the niqab or are like-minded, who may be open to connecting?
I'm struggling with my commitment and feeling unsure about what’s best anymore. I know at least five sisters not personally, who have removed their niqab, and while I’m not someone who wants to follow others or make decisions based on that, it does make me feel even more isolated and alienated in wider society.
I believe it is difficult to make friends while wearing the niqab, particularly in spaces where most people aren’t Muslim. A big part of this is the social side of things, simple interactions can feel harder when people can’t see your facial expressions. Things like smiling, which normally help build warmth and ease, aren’t visible, and it can feel disheartening when you try to engage but don’t get the same response back.
I also feel that people can be more reserved or unsure about approaching a niqabi, possibly because they can’t “read” me in the usual way. So much of communication relies on facial expressions and this is undeniable. Seeing someone’s face often helps build trust and connection which I can understand. Without that, it can sometimes feel like there’s an unspoken barrier, because there is.
This is something I notice even more in environments like work, where female colleagues may interact with me regularly but still don’t know what I look like. It can feel like the bond isn’t as strong, as though I remain somewhat unknown to them, which can affect my confidence in social interactions.
Socially, I've considered attending women-only events like baking or craft workshops to push myself despite my social anxiety, but I worry about standing out, being avoided, or feeling like the niqab becomes a barrier in those environments.
Even at women-only events, I don’t feel comfortable removing it due to concerns around privacy, photos, CCTV, social media reels and live stories, and not always knowing who may be present (they're not places that would ensure men are barred in a way that would happen say in Saudi Arabia women only events).
Beyond that, I also find there are wider challenges that I don’t know how to navigate and would like advice on. For example, situations like travelling, going abroad, or even workplace interactions with other women where the environment isn’t private and so, they don’t know what you look like (ever?) can feel not only quite difficult, but honestly awkward to manage.
When it comes to eating in public, it’s not something that inherently bothers me, I’m content with avoiding it altogether since that is all I've ever done, even before the niqab. However, my social anxiety is what really holds me back. I don’t feel I have the confidence, self-esteem, or courage to navigate those situations while wearing the niqab in public, for fears over things like this happening:
That underlying stress stemming from my social anxiety, of being watched or recorded, posted online somewhere, especially in today’s climate where Islamophobia is rife.
My confidence, self-esteem, and sense of courage feel very low, which only adds to the difficulty.
I’d really appreciate positive and faith rooted advice from sisters who’ve experienced something similar. How do you navigate social situations, build friendships, or find a sense of community while wearing the niqab? And how do you deal with some of these wider situations?
If there are any sisters local to Manchester or nearby, I’d also really appreciate connecting.
Please note: sisters only for DMs.
JazakAllah khair, and may Allah make it easy for all of us.