Partners MIL
tl;dr My partner (27M) and I (26F) have been together for 3 years. We started off as close friends before we ever had romantic feelings and have known each other for well over 10+ years. We also currently live together. A constant issue between us is his family specifically his mom (40’s). Their family dynamics are straight up enmeshed. (I should add she was a single mother but does currently have a husband). There are little things that have been getting me annoyed not being included to family events because she will specifically excluded me and being told I’m not a girls girls to name a few. I let my partner know how it makes me feel and he just dismisses her before and says “she’s not going to change”. Typical behavior of showing up unannounced or guilt tripping my partner into him going there or her coming here because she “had a bad day and needs a hug from her son”. It has gotten to the point that she manipulates him blatantly (big and small) to get whatever it is she wants. It’s getting to a point that I am getting upset about the way she treats him-let alone myself. I am trying to tell my partner if boundaries are not put into place I either 1) might speak up (but then I’ll be the bad guy) 2) this just may break our up relationship. I understand that 2 is extreme but if I plan to have kids and marry him I don’t think I could do it. I don’t know what to do or how to break it down in a calm respectful way- I do understand it’s his mom