How can i fix my 20F sexual desires towards my boyfriend 21M?
So i '20/F' and my Bf 'M/21' have been dating for about 3 years. Let me start by saying that i love him and our relationship is good in every other way but this one. we got together in 2023, but we broke up in 2024 for a couple months and then got back together. so we broke up the first time because we just stopped talking to each other, we would send maybe a "gn" or "gm" text occasionally and stopped hanging out. we started drifting like that after his VERY christian mother caught us having sex in April 2024 and it really put a strain on our relationship, it got so awkward that it felt weird to even kiss.
So fast forward to 2026, we get back together, we actually move in together. everything is fine, we were regularly having sex and then it was like boom. i hit a wall. i just could not seem to get aroused for him what so ever like before. i've tried so many things and i feel so guilty about it. he's not my usual physical type like at all... but that wasn't an issue for me before the incident with his mother those years ago.
We have sex maybe once a month and i find myself regularly taking care of myself on my own after he's asleep now. i feel kinda bad... i want to do this, i wanna be able to have those feelings about him again but for some reason i just can't. We do the same thing every time we did have sex and it started to get boring, we both acknowledged this and said we were gonna try new stuff. we never did try anything.
maybe this could add some context? while me and him were apart for those couple of months i fell into a really deep depression and started drinking a lot and i was hanging around the wrong crowd. I somehow started "dating" this guy who was horrible to me but then me and my boyfriend get back together and it's been over a year and i am severely struggling to preform. please help me.