My (24M) best friend (26F) ghosted me for two years and said she basically got tired of me. How did you deal with the feelings of losing a best friend?
I had a best friend from college that were were really close with until we weren't. We saw each other a lot less, even after she had cancer.
I met up with each other again and I said I was sorry we grew apart. What surprised me was her saying, "to be honest, a lot of it was my decision to do so."
I was shocked. I'm paraphrasing here:
"I honestly felt you were often making me your punching bag when life got hard for you and yet you never had the guts to take it out on the people who actually harmed you like your cousins.
I got tired of you throwing me under the bus when we made plans, like how you asked if I could stay at a hotel when I visited you right when I got there, because your other friend visited you by surprise.
I also started to resent that your favorite memories of me were me fixing your things, helping you move, and getting you a job.
I'm forever grateful you were there for me when I had cancer. But weight is weight.
I'm a mom now, with a husband soon. My mind and body is too tired to keep teaching the same people how to respect me when all I ever asked for was common decency.
You made fun of me for having cancer as a joke and even if you took it back, that still took effort.
Even after telling you how you treated me, I felt like a tool in your toolbox. You criticized my gifts often and I sometimes wonder if you knew I was doing my best.
I love you, but I also love myself. Please live a good life."
That conversation broke me so much There was more but I really wish she said more to me throughout.
She was never just a tool in my toolbox and I was going through some stuff myself. I didn't realize how much of a jerk I was and even when she talked to me about my crappy moments, I thought we were cool.