Hi, so for context my grandmother (61F) and I (23NB) have lived together for a few years. During that time, I’ve struggled a lot with fights with insurance, jobs, medications, and my overall mental health. I try my best, though. I also had an ESA cat named shade who will be important later.
Every now and then, my gramma goes out of town to visit other family in another state. During this time, I have never failed on watering and taking care of this plant. Even if it wilts a little bit, I can water it and it’ll usually pop right back up without fail. She just recently went on another one of these trips (around four weeks). During this trip, Shade became very ill and we found out that her kidneys were working at 75% of capacity (this was last week). I’ve had this cat since I was 5 years old, so obviously I was heartbroken as I watched her quickly deteriorate. My mother, father, and I agreed on the 23RD that she couldn’t go on, and we put her down.
I am not exaggerating when I say this cat was my whole world. She saved my life multiple times and brought me comfort without fail during the worst times I’d been through. She was absolutely my rock and even now I’m struggling to keep a routine without her.
Fast forward to earlier today. My grandmother comes home and I realize that while I’d been depressed over this loss, I accidentally had forgotten the plant. I was horrified, and instantly watered it in hopes it’d perk back up a little before she got in the door. It didn’t, obviously, and I told her first thing that I was sorry but the plant had wilted. I explained I watered it today, that I’d stopped watering it after my cat passed because I was struggling and that I was sorry, but that it normally perks right back up after being watered again for a few days. Rightfully, she looks upset and says it might not come back.
Here’s where I might be the Ahole. I have memory problems (that my gramma knows about) and she swears she told me that this plant was important because it was a plant at my late aunts funeral. I have absolutely 0 recollection of this, and told her that. I said I was sorry, that I didn’t remember/she didn’t tell me, and that I just thought it was a plant she really liked. She then goes on to say that she feels like she’s being punished because I lost my cat (when that’s not the case at ALL, and I even prefaced that I’d been struggling to do anything since my cat passed) and that she’s having consequences of MY CAT passing away via me not watering the plant. I had already apologized multiple times by this point, I am not sure what more I could’ve possibly done, but I got up and went to my room after she said this because I felt both guilty for my depressive spiral causing this, and angry that she thought I was trying to punish her for my grief.
So, AITA for accidentally letting a plant wilt?