I (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been dating for around 3.5 as of writing this. This situation happened around 9 months ago, and we’ve worked past it, but I’d like to know if I’m in the wrong.
In August of last year, I had booked a flight to see my best friend, who lives in Europe but was coming to the US. I live in the US, so I see him, at most, around once per year. I booked a flight that leaves around 7:30 as it was around $100 less than any other flight.
Just listing a paragraph for logistics. During rush hour, it takes me (at the longest) 45 min to drive to the airport. My girlfriend at rush hour is maximum around 45 minutes from the airport, and 30 minutes to my workplace.
My girlfriend offered to drive me that day, as being the last person to see me before I leave for a trip is important to her. I left my suitcase with her, and organized with my boss beforehand to leave work around 4:00. She works in a lab and rarely (if ever) leaves work after 5:00, often getting out before 5:00 if she requests.
During the day, I frequently text her to update. I keep waiting for a response as she usually texts me during the day, but it’s complete radio silence, even on her lunch break. Eventually, I left work around 4, and still have not heard from her. I try to get closer to her location, walking around 2 miles in my work clothes + backpack in 85 degree weather to get to a train station, which would eliminate her 30 minute drive to my work. I got there around 5:15, but still no response from her.
After waiting for 30 minutes, I got a text from her around 5:45 saying she had a tool malfunction during a task, and there would be a significant problem if she did not fix it then. She mentioned during the conversation that this problem started around 4:50, when she started something that she thought would take 10 minutes. I understood that she needed to control this, but she picked me up around 6:20. I was concerned about missing my flight, as this was potentially a 45 min drive which would give me 15-20 minutes for me to get through security and to my gate.
Here’s where I may have messed up: during the car ride, I was stressed out over missing my flight, and raised my voice saying “You really couldn’t text me once during the day? And why did you start a new task at 4:50?”. This was the first time in the relationship that I raised my voice with her, and I quickly realized my mistake and apologized.
Eventually I got to the airport, and the gate agents made an exception despite me getting to the gate 5 minutes after the door closed. I called my girlfriend to apologize, but she needed more time.
Over the weekend, she talked with family, who said she did nothing wrong and to break up. On the contrary, I talked to a few friends and they said I did nothing wrong. I ended up getting therapy to avoid an incident where I raise my voice, and haven’t since. We’re doing great now, but she mentions this from time to time. I just want to get a perspective from an independent party.