Any recommendations what I can do after a spiritual psychosis?
I have had three spiritual psychoses and am stable now, but for a long time it has felt like a lot is missing from my life (still). Before I got my psychosis, I had already been depressed for a long time. I smoked weed everyday to suppress my bad feelings. Life felt meaningless from the age of 16 to 21. But than.... After I got my psychosis at 21, everything changed. I have experienced my psychoses in a very beautiful way (especially the first one). I felt very connected to God and the universe, even though I am not religious. Also, my senses were much sharper and I experienced things very differently. I felt energy waves everywhere throughout my entire body. It felt like I had evolved like a Pokémon. I also had deep interests that I've never had before in physics, stars, spiritually and so on. Unfortunately, I also saw entities or even worse things and found it quite frightening. When the psychosis became too intense, I was sitting on a chair in a kind of hypnosis. My mom didn't know what to do so called the police. I saw shadows moving from one police officer to another. Eventually they disappeard but I could no longer control myself and received an injection in my butt from crisis intervention. Eventually, I was admitted in a psychiatric institution. I was forced to take 12 mg of paliperidone per day and became extremely depressed. I struggled for months and got another 2 psychosis. They declared me bipolar so gave me lithium for 1 year. It didn't help me, so now they give me fluoxetine 20mg (antidepressing) and aripiprazol 15mg. I still feel bad though, I miss the connection of everything. My spirituality disappeared. Lack of energy, emotions and passion. Any advice?