Being misunderstood
Growing up I was never the studious kid .Neither did I top or rank first in my class except occasionally in individual subjects maybe whenever I studied rigorously.Maybe my parents should have been more strict with me or push me more .Maybe then I could have been but who cares.And then my best friend on the other hand was the class topper.Both her parents and her elder brother are doctors. From childhood I heard her wanting to become a doctor.Meanwhile I was really confused about what I should become because the place where I live it was taught that only toppers can be doctors.If you are not a topper you don't even belong to the competition.So I thought maybe it wasn't for me while still being confused what I love or want to be later in life.And i thought it's impossible for me to become a doctor since i am not a topper.
Things changed when in class 12 our bio teacher introduced us to neet.I felt it was not that difficult of an exam.Though extremely competitive.I thought it was doable if I worked hard.After 12th I started prepping for neet in a local coaching centre and our bio faculty was a doctor himself.He taught us human physiology so well I became really interested and now badly want to become doctor ,learn how to perform surgery nd all that stuff.I know people will come at me saying everything is not bed of roses everything looks good but isn't and it isn't i know that but I really want to.Due to certain distractions it's been 4 years of me giving neet I badly want to crack it but in the process I lost touch with my best friend.She joined medical college and since I am still in neet phase which is a very antisocial phase we drifted apart.
Today I heard from a common friend she thinks I am giving neet to just compete with her since I never really told her growing up I wanted to be a doctor.No one knows about that aspiration.And now many of my classmates think the same that I am some egoistic jealous pos.How do I make them understand that I am not at all jealous of her I want to do this for myself I was never really interested in technology and bio has always been my favourite subject.Is she the only person who is studying medicine that I would be jealous of her or am I the only dropper who gave so many drops for neet due to ego issues with her?Why are people so judgemental and self obsessed?I texted her days ago she didn't bother to reply me either. As much as I miss the beautiful memories we had together I really don't want to talk to her again.I am really heartbroken and hurt.