I’ve been having sex for a few years already, and I’ve had two boyfriends, but with neither of them have I ever had an orgasm or climaxed during sex. There are several reasons why, and I need advice on what I can do about it.
With my first boyfriend, sex was honestly pretty bad. During a year and a half of dating, I only really enjoyed it twice, and even the second time wasn’t that interesting or pleasurable compared to the first good experience. I don’t know what affected the way I felt penetration back then, but even simple fingering would make me moan and feel overwhelmed with pleasure.
I also don’t really like stimulating my clitoris because I don’t understand how to do it properly. It hurts if I touch it directly, and it’s hard to stimulate it without some kind of fabric over it. Most of my masturbation literally happens while wearing underwear, and I masturbate through them, or with a vibrator, which actually reduced my clitoral sensitivity a bit, because before it hurt even more.
With my new boyfriend I do enjoy sex — it feels good, but not more than that. I still don’t climax, even though I try to stimulate my clitoris, and sometimes he does it himself, and then it really feels much better, but I still don’t orgasm.
But my biggest problem is that I don’t feel real arousal. No matter how handsome a man is or how much I like him, it’s hard for me to truly get turned on. I feel arousal for a few seconds and then it disappears. The easiest way to describe it is like “my dick got hard and then immediately went soft”
I’m sure I’m not a lesbian because I’m not attracted to women. I can’t imagine myself with them in bed or in a relationship. I’m straight. I suspect that I might be asexual, but I can’t be sure.
Maybe some sexual practices could help me? I don’t really like pain, but maybe complete domination over me would do something? Or maybe наоборот I should be the dominant one? I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. I just want to have sex and enjoy it, so that I’d want to come back to it not only because I want to feel closer to my boyfriend, but also because I orgasm.