The third week of March my wife and I went in for our 20 week ultrasound, and we found out our son passed away around 16 weeks. He had no genetic problems, lack of blood flow for an unknown reason is what we got from the doctors. They had to remove him the next day. We are both in our late 30, have a toddler and 10 year old at home.
I've accepted it as reality and get on pretty well, but that's how I have always been. My wife on the other hand...She started drinking heavily, sneaking alcohol, smoking a lot of weed and neglecting her parental obligations. Its 100 percent me right now. Shes missing parent pick-up, getting drunk, going on walks and getting lost. Getting behind the wheel when not sober. She sleeps downstairs, it's just me and the baby upstairs every night and she's down here drinking and smoking. I try to cook and clean and take care of the kids but I work full time and she's on FMLA.
I thought we were on the same page yesterday after we talked about actions and consequences, our family and how we can work through everything together. If she gets a third DUI she's going to prison. And all that, I come home today and she missed parent pick again and was heavily intoxicated. And she drove with the baby to go get the oldest.
I called her mom who's flying out next week, my mom flys out tomorrow and I'm not telling her they are coming. We want to try to get her into some dual diagnosis IOP program or something similar out here in the Norfolk area. I know dropping family on her can go either way as far as her reaction, but I'm at the end of my rope. I can't let this continue. My mom is a nurse in the psych department and deals with this type of stuff so she will be an to help and watch my wife. The children are now being put at risk. And I'm taking the car keys away.
Is there anything else I can do, or hs anyone had a similar situation they were able to turn around? Shes gotten exponentially worse this week and driving has crossed the line. I don't want to push her in the wrong direction but something needs to happen now.
Tldr wife turned to alcohol after miscarriage and I'm basically dropping an intervention on her.