AIO for asking for a divorce after one week of marriage?
I (32F) honestly don't even know where to start. I come from a super traditional background, so this was an arranged marriage. We got engaged and spent like 5 months getting to know each other before signing the actual marriage contract. And idk, during that time I genuinely fell in love with him (33M). He comes from a lot of money, inherited a ton when his dad passed, but that wasn't why I liked him.
He just seemed... perfect? Like the perfect guy.
He was always pushing me to "be better." He's a huge gym guy and started literally picking out all my meals every single day. He said he just wanted us to have a "healthy lifestyle." At first I thought it was sweet. I really did. But looking back... there were so many red flags I just completely ignored.
Like this one time, I just wanted McDonald's. For context, I am NOT overweight. Like at all. And he knows I've had some cosmetic stuff done, so a burger isn't going to ruin my body or whatever. But he completely lost it. He told me I was "being stubborn to my future husband" and literally flipped the table.
I ended up apologizing to HIM. I still don't even know why I did that.
There were other things too. Twice I asked to go visit my sister and he just said no. No reason. Just no.
He made me put an AirTag in my car. When I asked why, he spun it like "I just care about you and want to keep you safe." And I believed him. I feel so stupid now.
He made me stop taking my ADHD meds. He said he wanted kids right away so I wasn't allowed to be on birth control either. He kept pressuring me to quit my job, to the point where he actually made me cry at work once.
But the biggest thing was how he always said: "Whatever happens between us stays between us. Your secrets are my secrets. We should never involve our families."
I trusted him so much. I told him literally everything. My deepest insecurities, stuff I've never told a single soul. I told him all my family's private struggles and secrets. I really thought we were building this deep intimacy, you know? Like this is the man I'm spending my life with.
But I just kept telling myself marriage is about compromise. My family and friends kept saying none of this was a big deal. So I stayed.
Fast forward to the day after we signed the contract. Because of our culture, this was literally the FIRST time I was ever allowed to go out with him alone.
And you know what he did?
He took me to the gym. For THREE hours.
At one point he literally pinched my stomach and said "you need to lose weight." I have never felt so small in my entire life.
While we were there, we ran into this well-known gay guy from our town. My husband just stared at him and then grabbed my ass. Just to send a message. Like I was just his property or something.
I went to my older sister crying my eyes out and told her everything. She just said, "He wants the best for you. Don't overthink it."
So I shut up. I just swallowed it all and pretended everything was fine.
Then came the actual wedding day.
You guys, he did a complete 180. He spent our wedding watching a football match. He kept making these snide little remarks about me and my family the whole time. Criticizing my sisters, my brother. He took the tiniest, most insignificant things and blew them way out of proportion, acting like my family had "embarrassed" him. He made me cry on my own wedding day. He actually made me resent my own sisters.
And then I found out the worst part.
On my wedding day, I found out he had a group chat with his family—including his closest sister.
Everything I ever told him in private? It was all in that chat.
My insecurities. My family's secrets. Literally all of it. And they weren't just reading it, they were making fun of me. Mocking me and my family. The guy who swore "your secrets are my secrets, we never tell our families" was literally feeding them every vulnerable thing I ever shared. He used my trust as entertainment for his family.
After the wedding, I finally snapped. For the first time ever, I told him I was going to my sister's house. He got pissed. I left anyway. It was the first time I actually showed any backbone and didn't just back down.
He called me. Again and again and again. I ignored it.
I guess he realized I wasn't going to answer because his texts suddenly changed. "I love you." "I hope you're fine." "I'm scared." "Oh my God, where are you?" "Your location isn't showing."
See, I didn't take my car. I went to my sister's without it, so his stupid AirTag couldn't track me. For the first time, he didn't know where I was and he completely panicked.
I texted him where I was a day later. But he had already called my brother and was like "I don't know where your sister is."
He knew exactly what he was doing. In our culture, calling a brother like that... it's basically saying "your sister left her husband and is doing something wrong." He was trying to turn my brother against me. Trying to make me look disloyal so my family would become his enforcers.
He wanted me to lose trust in everyone so I'd have to depend entirely on him. While he was exposing me to his family behind my back.
I went to my youngest sister just sobbing. I told her I wished I was dead because my sisters had "embarrassed me"—that's how deep his manipulation got. I literally believed my family was the problem.
My youngest sister just looked at me and slapped me across the face.
She said: "Did you forget who you are? You have never been afraid of anyone. Why are you scared of your husband's reaction over something YOU didn't even do?"
She saw right through all his bullshit. She knew it was way bigger than what I was crying about. She went straight to my other sister and was like, "They need to get divorced."
At first it was just her on my side. But she convinced my other sister, and slowly my whole family started seeing the truth.
It's been about a week now. He called my brother again, claiming I blocked him on everything. Which is a total lie. HE blocked ME. He's still just trying to control the narrative and turn my family against me.
My youngest sister said something that finally snapped me out of it: "He manipulated you into believing you were less than him because he's insecure. He needed you to feel small so he could feel big."
So now I'm in the process of getting a divorce. But some people in my life are saying I'm overreacting. That I should give it more time, that one week isn't enough to judge a whole marriage.
I just— I don't know anymore.
So... am I overreacting?