Should i go to the hospital
Im struggling a lot to get out of bed and eat and really spiraling into negative thoughts like how to hurt myself, would anyone even notice im gone, I think about it at least once every day. I feel like I can’t deal with the unpredictability of my emotions. I could be having a good day where i go out with friends and do something fun and then come back home and a wave of depression washes over me. Its so fucking tiring and entirely exhausting how all consuming it is to manage my depression. I hate how sneaky it is, when im almost convinced i do enough for myself something comes along to prove im not good enough. I can never win. When i do feel happy, i stop myself from enjoying it because i know it’ll be gone soon. Happiness is too fleeting for life to be worth it.