I think my estranged mom is being manipulated due to her memory loss, is possibly a victim of elder abuse and I don’t know if I should just walk away.
I’m in my 30s and have been estranged from my mother, who is in her 60s, for about a year and a half. We had a difficult relationship growing up but became closer after my father passed. We eventually entered family therapy together, but I asked for a temporary break during a stressful period in my life and said I would reconnect afterward.
When I did reconnect, things had changed dramatically. My mother was cold, and conversations became politically extreme in ways that felt out of character (she had shifted from Bernie to MAGA within a few months), and later she began describing events in ways that didn’t match reality. During a final exchange involving her close friend, I was accused of things that either never happened or were heavily distorted, including inaccurate claims about my behavior during therapy.
What concerns me most is that my mother had already begun showing signs of memory decline before all of this. Her close friend, who is deeply involved in her life and estate planning, appears to be reinforcing false narratives about me and worsening the estrangement. I’ve since learned this person has spoken negatively about me for years and I had no idea.
I don’t care about inheritance, but I’m struggling with whether I should walk away or whether my mother may be vulnerable to manipulation or possible elder abuse due to cognitive decline. I genuinely can’t tell how much of this estrangement is her independent choice.