I (18NB) really like this girl(21F) I met online.
Like a lot.
She's Bi, or at least partially into girls, she hasn't really been clear with a label but I don't really care about that. Ik she likes girls an that's good enough for me.
I met her about a year and a half ago now and we got along like a house on fire.
I had a boyfriend then and so did she but we've both broken up with them since.
Im not really sure how to explain her but to me she's awesome, she makes me laugh all the time. I litterally grin like an idiot when she texts me (just like i am now bc we're on a call) and she's always been there when i needed her even when we were fighting. Plus she has beautiful eyes- like I could look at her for days and not find a flaw.
When we first met we were told we "acted like an old lesbian couple" we kinda played into that, making jokes, teasing, we even got fake married by a bot on discord (owo, iykyk)
And she's said I'm beautiful more times then I can count, it makes my day every time.
I have her phone number (saved with extra hearts bc im kinda cringe ig) and all her socials and we constantly talk.
But I'm not sure if I should try, she's never explicitly stated she'd ever even consider it and she's 4 hours away (but not so far I couldn't grab a plane and fly to her, I fear I might be that gay)
I'm just not sure what to do, I don't want to lose her, any time I think about that possibility it feels like my hearts being ripped from my chest.
But I also don't want to mess up and possible miss a chance.
So wise saphic elders, please impart your wisdom to a lost lamb (pretty please im kinda desperate here ngl)