Bf came out to me as bi, feeling unsure
Okay, so my (19f) boyfriend (21m) of three years came out to me as bi a week or so ago. This isn't a problem for me at all I'm pansexual and like girls/guys/everyone in between. The problem is that he didn't really come out to me on purpose? He asked me to look at his resume on his computer and he had his burner reddit account open and I saw the porn he was commenting on and the subreddits he was in...
first of all I don't love that he was looking at porn to begin with as he made me feel like we were on the same page but he was going behind my back during who knows how long throughout our relationship.
But that aside this is where I get confused. He told me he's bi, but hasn't explained how he knew or found out that he liked multiple genders. And everything I saw him engaging with was just straight up cock, and then porn specifically centered on trans women. He was only in one subreddit for trans women, and then the rest were all like r/cock r/frotting r/bisexualthreesome or whatever. I'm kind of making up subreddits because I don't remember exactly. So here's my concern-
is he a chaser?
I'm literally pansexual so it wouldn't bother me at all if he is interested in men, women, and trans people. But what I'm scared of is that it's a fetish for him or a kink or something. Bi boyfriend=yes 100%, love it! Chaser lady penis fetish boyfriend≠absofuckinglutely not . lol. I'm also having a hard time talking to him about it because he's mad I was clicking around on his computer and continued to look through his throwaway reddit once I realized what it was and he's been super defensive. And if I straight up ask him if he likes men or if he's calling himself bisexual because he likes cis women and trans women, I feel like if he is a chaser he'll catch on to what I'm asking and lie just to make me feel appeased.
Idefk. This sucks and is confusing and I'm tired. I love my boyfriend but I already feel disrespected and also honestly lied to like, I don't even really know him and maybe I never did? I get that coming out isn't easy but I've been nothing but vocal about my support of queer rights, my own sexuality, and my love of all queer people. And if I hadn't stumbled upon what I did, would he have ever come out to me? Would he have continued to go behind my back with the porn while lying to my face that he thinks porn is gross and doesn't use it?
I guess this is a lot of rambling but yeah my main question is after reading this do you think there's a possibility my boyfriend's a chaser? And how do I go about having this conversation with him? kthxbye