I guess I just want some sort of perspective here. My parents and mother in law have never come to my husbands and I apartment to visit our daughter - their grand child. We invited them when I was pregnant to tell them - it was like a small announcement and they came.. it was also the first time we have had our own place since being married. We lived with my mom in law and then moved out and then found out we were pregnant shortly after. Since telling them, I’ve travelled to see them at least once a week to check in, clean and take care of their dogs with walks etc. I’ve gotten a dog walker for them now so doggies are all good. I did this all while being pregnant not because I HAD to but because I was doing it before I was pregnant and I felt well enough to continue. I obviously stopped once I got closer to my due date and I started to have some minor complications at the time (increasing blood pressure .. ended up with slight preeclampsia in the end). Anyways, had baby girl, husband took time off work (6 weeks) and that was that. We visited them at least once a week every week during that 6 week period when he was off. They never came to see us once.
My mom uses a power wheelchair (she’s paraplegic) however, our apartment is accessible. That was a requirement when we were searching for a place so that my mom would be able to visit. Mum in law is okay, some health issues like diabetes but that’s well managed, she doesn’t drive but she takes Uber when she needs to get places. We live about 30-40 mins from them so not crazily far. I drive also so it’s not like I’m reliant of my husband to get places. Me and baby girl go out to our play group, Walmart etc. on a regular basis . Mom in law said that when we have a baby (this was when husband and I just got married pretty much) that our (husband and I) baby will be her baby and I just find it funny that baby girl isn’t completely crazy about her. I tried to talk to my mom about the fact that they’ve never come since baby being born etc. and that it’s kind of hurtful and she snapped saying I’m “soft and too sensitive” .. since then I’ve never brought it back up. I’ve since stopped making an effort to visit weekly and it’s changed to maybe once every two weeks and it seems like it’s a problem for them 🤷🏾♀️ I’m not trying to keep her from them but I’m also not over extending my self anymore either. Sometimes it’s hard to travel with a child and they’ve never offered to just come and hang with us in our space. I feel like I’ve always tried to be there for them because they are my parents and I actually don’t mind my mum in law.. we had/have a pretty okay relationship .. I treat her like my own mom. Am I the problem for wanting to heal post pregnancy but also wanting them to come to our place to see their grand child?