u/Few-Caramel-5088

I have a 3 and 4 yr old, I slipped deep into depression shortly after the younger was born. I'm finally starting to feel more like myself in the last 6ish months. I tend to lean on alcohol when I'm struggling with mental health so avoiding it has been really important to my improvement. My husband doesn't seem to want to change his consumption patterns. He works in a bar so he has drinks after his shifts multiple times per week, it shouldn't affect me but it does. I'm trying to accept my intuition and messages before it becomes too big to ignore and this feels like something I need to address. Idk how approach the conversation. Like I can't find the words to say. I feel alone? Disrespected? Ignored? Like I'm in the land of parenting chaos on my own and he gets to just escape whenever he feels like it? But I also feel scared to bring it up because I used alcohol to cope, I'm also a problem, my input can't be meaningful because I have caused harm?