My Sister's Husband Grinds My Gears And Now I'm Losing Her
My (22F) sister's (32F) husband (40M) is one of the most aggravating men I know. When they first got together about a decade ago, I got along with him pretty well. We didn't interact much but he was nice enough and treated my sister well and I even looked up to him in some ways. He's extremely intelligent. But as time went by, I got older and developed my stance in this world, I realised that his views and political opinions were so vastly different to mine. I can tolerate differences in opinions and won't immediately shunt off anyone who doesn't share my views. But IMO it gets to a point where if you're racist or bigoted in any way, you have no empathy and I can't stand that. Especially when you're as well-educated as he is - it's a hatred that cannot be excused by ignorance.
Earlier this year I got into an argument with my sister borne from a miscommunication. I was at fault, and apologised profusely, but my sister rejected this by saying I need to apologise directly to her husband for 'disrespect'. This man has never copped direct disrespect from me - I just ark up when he ragebaits me at family functions over political issues. I refuse to sit in silence while he makes comments bordering on white supremacy and elitism. Other than those moments however, I am cordial and friendly enough. If anything, following that argument in question with my sister, he tried to start a further line of conflict so I excused myself and left. Perhaps that was the disrespect she refers to, but I garner to assume that my sister would've appreciated it even less if I'd stuck around to argue back.
Thus, I have refused to grovel to him and consequently haven't spoken to my sister in months which of course devastates me but I'm of the opinion that standing my ground and holding true to my values is more important. I hope that one day my sister realises that he holds onto hate in his heart and that she is too good to be with someone like that. And perhaps she shares his values but I am not aware (she doesn't make comments like his, just stays silent) which would break my heart even further. She's truly such a beautiful person and I miss her greatly, but I refuse to bow down to this man.
TLDR: I love my sister but her husband is a bigot so I'm losing my relationship with her because I refuse to grovel to him.