i feel so alone and pathetic
i feel like my high school years have been so drab and unmemorable because i lack a group of close friends. i know a quite a lot of people, but there’s only really one person who i’m somewhat ‘close’ with. i feel so detached at school because i’ve become antisocial and reserved. at this point i’m too tired to put myself out there and meet new people, but i also hate being so alone. everyone is already in a friend group and i feel like i don’t belong anywhere- i’ve kind of just been floating in my own. there’s really nobody in my classes that i connect with. i always spiral thinking that i’m so alone because others perceive me as weird, or that i’m just an unlikeable person. i’m really insecure. when i get home from school it feels like nobody knows i exist, and that if i were to disappear, nobody would notice. i am distant from my family and isolate myself in my room. i often go online to talk to strangers, but i know it’s unhealthy and makes it more difficult for me to interact with people in real life. this loneliness has been so depressing and demotivating and i just feel so lame. :(