u/Fem-Beatle

I am currently having difficulties with what to do in regards to a friendship. I met this friend a little over a year ago and we as well as another of their friends hit it off and the three of us became friends quite quickly. We were introduced through a mutual friend. We would primarily hang out in a group of four. Myself and my two new friends aswell as a "friend" I've known since childhood. (We all go to the same Uni)

This "Friend" I have known since childhood has been a problem in my life for a very long time, he has been a terrible friend and actively detrimental to me for at least 10+ years now but I kept hanging out with him because of the familiarity and convenience (I don't like doing things alone and don't have many friends that I can see on even a regular basis)

I told my new friends about my issues with him and how he has played a very large role in alot of my behavioral and mental issues. We still all ended up hanging out together in a group.

I feel only recently that I have been in a place where I can finally cut him out of my life and move on. And that wouldn't be a problem except for one of my new friends started dating him. On top of that because of a mental health episode I had to step back from contact with my new friend for a bit because I was not in a place where I was good to be around.(I did communicate that I would be absent for a bit. I have since started therapy and am doing much better) We haven't spoken in a little over 2 Months and I feel like I am at a place where I can engage healthily again.

I am having conflicting feelings about engaging again based on a couple reasons.

  1. I feel betrayed because I told them all about how bad this person was to me and they still ended up dating him.

  2. I don't know if I can trust her now that she has chosen to trust someone I really don't trust.

  3. I don't think it's appropriate to be friends with someone Who actively hates your partner so I don't think I can be that person regardless of if she wants to still be friends.

Thank you so much for reading and maybe responding! If you want any clarification I am happy to give it. Any and all perspectives and advice as welcome!

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u/Fem-Beatle — 6 days ago
▲ 16 r/Redhair

Is there an actual term for it? I tend to call it strawberry blonde but others call it a mix of ginger or dirty blonde. My family says it's coppery. It does kind of look different in different lighting... What is it really? Some people say it's not red at all but it is sometimes?? Both these pictures are from the same day.

u/Fem-Beatle — 14 days ago