Why can't I move on?
I've been in my TF journey for almost 10 years now, and I'm honestly tired at this point. Everytime the Universe decides to reunite us again I end up heartbroken and devastated. We both have a LOT of hard stuff to work on (I'm talking mental health issues, addiction, eating disorders...), so I'm losing hope that we'll ever be able to have a healthy and normal relationship like I so desperately desire. Yet, I can't seem to move on from him. The fact that we live near each other doesn't help, I guess. We're in separation right now and not on speaking terms; in fact, we've blocked each other. Are we supposed to live like this for the rest of our lives? It's so emotionally draining that I can't fight anymore. I'm tired, extremely sad, hopeless and missing him and what we could have together so much.
I'm having a really hard time and at the same time I feel so weird... like this is all a dream or something. It's hard to explain.
Has anyone ever felt like this? What does this mean? Any advice is welcome, I don't know what to do anymore...