u/Feisty_Quantity_6035

Hello! I 15 f, been struggling with depression for the last few years, i can't genuinely feeling emotion, I'm just numb all the time, I don't feel anything, I don't enjoy anything, I'm so fucking exhausted.

I don't go to school anymore because of my mental health issues, and I'm struggling with online school, I've been in and out of camhs (child, adolescent mental health services) since i was very young, and done countless months of therapy, counseling and what not, and they've done jack shit!

I desperately want to know how do start feeling again? (Without medication) because i really don't want to be stuffed up with pills, all doctors and mental health professionals have tried to get me on medication at least twice, and im so fucking sick of it!!!

I've been told to "take a walk!" "eat healthy and you'll feel better." "smile more, the feeling will pass." "Your too young to feel like this." And I swear.. if I hear those words come out of someones mouth again i will scream and rip my hair out!

I'm fifteen years old and I'm scared, I'm scared if this is my normal, im scared to feel like this forever, please help.