u/Feisty_Owl_8694

Sometimes after really intense therapy sessions, I end up feeling strangely lonely afterward.

Today we talked about how I’m afraid of my “bright” or healthy side because a part of me feels like if I’m doing okay, then I don’t deserve as much care, attention, or emotional space anymore. My therapist used a metaphor that really affected me. He said it’s like believing that a plant only deserves care when it’s visibly dying or wilted.

The thing is… even though the session was meaningful and comforting, afterward I started spiraling into thoughts like:
“What if now he thinks I don’t need him as much?”
“What if being better makes me less important?”

I realized I might associate care and closeness with suffering. Like if I’m struggling, I matter more. And when I feel okay, I become forgettable.

There’s also this weird sadness after sessions because I feel deeply connected during that one hour, and then afterward I’m alone again with my thoughts. It almost feels like emotional withdrawal from connection.

I know therapy has boundaries and that therapists have their own lives, but I think part of me really wants to feel special to someone and fears losing care if I stop hurting.

Does anyone else experience this after therapy? The loneliness afterward feels incredibly intense sometimes.

I had a conversation with some friends today about how I still haven’t come out to my parents. Some of them seemed genuinely surprised that I haven’t done it yet, and ever since then I’ve been feeling really conflicted.

A few sessions ago my therapist told me something that stuck with me. We were talking about this sense of emptiness and meaninglessness I’ve been struggling with, and he said that in some way I might be rejecting myself by hiding such a big part of who I am and pretending to be someone else around my family.

And now I can’t stop thinking about it.

I look at other queer people who live openly and freely and I feel jealous. Not in a bad way, more like this deep ache of “I wish I could live like that too.” At the same time, the idea of coming out feels terrifying and emotionally overwhelming for me right now.

And somehow my brain keeps turning that into:
“If you don’t come out, you’re doing something wrong.”