Pining
Baby, I miss you. You had me wrapped around your finger the second we met with your rough hands and ridiculous sense of humour. You found our age difference funny and slightly alarming, but you being so much older was so sexy to me. We were stupid for starting something at work but I just couldn’t resist, and I don’t think you could either.
I didn’t know you were married and I was so disappointed when I found out. My marital status was more obvious - several giant rings on my fingers - but I could still detect your attraction right away. I was less disappointed when you started showing up all the time with tidbits of gossip or snacks. I can’t believe it took so long for me to confess how badly I wanted you, but you made your interest in me pretty clear early on.
Fuck, I don’t know how we kept it a secret. I was so googly eyed over you. You made me feel so so good in every way, it was so easy for me to fall in love despite being determined not to catch any feelings. You made me cum over and over again and I was so completely vulnerable with you, it was impossible to keep my feelings in check.
I ended things like a dick, but I had to for the sake of my entire life outside of you. I cannot be in love with two people and maintain my sanity. In another life, we’re happily moving to Vietnam together, but in this one I’m going to work on being okay with missing you in the city we live in.
I should feel like a bad person, and I do, but I also think I fell purely in love with you. It wasn’t related to the state of my marital relationship, which I know is common for women. I just love you for you. We cannot be together without losing everything and that devastates me.