Does anyone else struggle to be ‘cordial’ in group settings?
I recently lost a friend due to miscommunication issues and she said we can be ‘cordial’/acquantices in public, yet every time i saw her after that, it’s like she would ignore me, so that felt really fake to me.
To me, cordial is when you’re at least acknowledging the person, but not really talking to them like that. But idk, I feel like I can’t be that way. If I’m in a group setting and I know I don’t like someone or someone doesn’t like me, I’m going to feel very uneasy and just withdraw until the person leaves. Idk maybe that’s selfish and it could also be a trauma response, but that’s how I’ve always been. Obviously, in a work environment, I’d have to be cordial, but I’m 19 and have only worked fast food jobs and no one has really ever hated me, so 🤷🏾♀️ (and if they did, then I just had no clue about it).
It especially feels hard because it feels like everyone is just pretending with each other. I’d rather be my authentic self around people. So when this girl I was friends with told me I was being “messy” for telling mutuals about our situation, I felt very pissed off. I didn’t talk trash about her; I literally just explained what happened, how I messed up, and how I won’t do it again, but apparently, you’re just supposed to sweep everything under the rug like nothing happened? But then the truth comes out eventually and then what??