If the problem in my relationships is me
I turn 25 next week, and I honestly don’t understand if the problem in my relationships is me, or if I just haven’t met the right person yet.
My first relationship started when I was 20. I met a very cute and beautiful girl, and if I’m honest, I chose her mostly because of her appearance. Over time, I realized we were completely different people. We had almost nothing to talk about. We had zero common interests. She cried over very small things all the time - for example because the bus was taking too long, or because she didn’t like the food I cooked. The only thing we really had in common was sex.
I tried to make it work for 2 years, but eventually I became emotionally exhausted and we broke up.
After that relationship, I concluded that looks are not the most important thing, and that I should focus on personality and emotional connection first. I wanted a girlfriend who felt like my best friend.
Eventually I met another girl. She was incredibly interesting to talk to. We could talk for hours about literally anything. Our conversations were amazing. She was smart, calm, kind, thoughtful, and genuinely interesting as a person.
But physically… she just wasn’t my type.
She wasn’t ugly at all. She was actually objectively attractive - blonde, sharp/model-like facial features, serious expression - but my whole life I’ve always been attracted to cute, warm, smiling girls. I thought maybe attraction would grow over time because our personalities matched so well.
But after 6 months, those thoughts never disappeared. Our emotional connection was great, but our intimate life wasn’t. I constantly noticed girls who were more my type physically and kept suppressing those thoughts. In the end I realized something still felt wrong, and I broke up with her too.
Now I feel terrible because I feel like I already hurt two people and wasted years of their lives.
So now I’m alone, almost 25, and I genuinely don’t know:
Is the problem me?
Do I need therapy or to work on myself somehow?
Or is this just part of dating and I should keep searching for someone where both emotional and physical attraction exist together?
What do you honestly think?