Hello, I’m looking for advice and I’m not sure if this is the right place to post, but I don’t really have anyone else to turn to.
I’m a 26-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 5 years. We have a 3-year-old together. Our relationship has been really difficult—during and after my pregnancy, he was both emotionally and physically abusive. On top of that, he struggled with an addiction to explicit content, which has left me feeling extremely insecure. It’s gotten to the point where I avoid all forms of intimacy, even something as simple as holding hands, hugging, or kissing.
I’ve tried to heal from everything that’s happened, but I’ve realized I haven’t been able to. Instead, I feel like I’ve grown more angry and resentful. About a year ago, things got a little better—we don’t argue as much—but I still carry a lot of that hurt, and I keep it to myself.
Recently, he lost his job, and I’ve been covering all the bills for the past few months. Through that, I’ve started to realize that I can do this on my own, which was always one of the main reasons I stayed.
My lease ends in July, and I’ve been seriously thinking about moving back in with my parents without telling him. I feel guilty because of our child, and part of me feels obligated to stay for that reason. But at the same time, I don’t see a future with him. I don’t want more children with him, I don’t see us building a life together, and I don’t feel any romantic connection anymore. The only reasons I’ve stayed are financial stability and having help with childcare.
He’s a good father, but not a good partner.
I guess I just need to know—am I making the right decision? Has anyone been through something similar?