Wedding Drama
I truly don’t know how people navigate wedding planning with parents who want a say in everything, but especially MILs who seem intent on disrupting the guest list and tripling your work load. I (25F) have taken on most of the wedding planning for my fiance (27M) and I because i’m type A and want everything done a certain way, so naturally all wedding concerns from MIL tend to come to me. the part that gets me though is my MIL is treating it as a family reunion and her own personal party rather than her son’s wedding. at the end of the day, she is not financially contributing to the wedding at all, so the fact that she’s expecting as much as she is and having high expectations without actually doing any work is incredibly bothersome. there have been a few instances recently that have caused me to feel a lot of hurt and frustration with her, and my fiance has had my back through it all. but to name a few:
- MIL gave me the wrong addresses for family and then accused me of cutting her guest list without telling her. i had to pay for extra invites and stamps to resend the invitation to the correct addresses
- MIL failed to inform me that she had a family on her guest list who’s eldest daughter was invited but not the youngest daughter (said the younger daughter was too young to come to these events, but she is a high school senior, and her sister is only 2 years older)
-MIL did not attempt to help prep anything for the bridal shower, just showed up after all the work was done and took credit for being a co host (she financially contributed to that, but less than what she’d offered to)
- MIL delivered a speech at my bridal shower and did not say one nice thing about me, just boosted up her other future daughter in law (who is not engaged yet, but had nice things said about her while i didn’t even get a mention in the speech)
- MIL left said bridal shower without so much as a goodbye to me (they live hours away so i won’t see them for another month or two), and didn’t even send a text to say goodbye or thank you, just relayed it through a family member
- MIL added 4 people to the guest list because she wants to include her cousins’ boyfriends, even though it is very recent and we get married in only a couple months now. she has had a year to iron out her guest list but now it’s my problem apparently.
my fiance and i have drawn a line now where no further changes will be welcomed because we are over capacity and having to pay for these people and do all the work ourselves. i’m just annoyed that she’s been making tons of extra work for me to try to appease her family (i’m a people pleaser and have a hard time saying no even when i know i’m being taken advantage of). my fiance is firm on “no more add ons” but his mom just doesn’t seem to get that this is our money she is spending and we have 100 other things to do than just worry about plus ones for people we barely know. just had to get it off my chest! if i’m overreacting or if you have any advice, it is welcome, thank you.