Men who are married or in monogamous committed relationships…Is there such a thing as having TOO much sex in a relationship? Honestly?
I (34f) was in a relationship with (m32) for 6 months. I thought we had a pretty great relationship—got along well, similar senses of humor, great physical chemistry. Until the night he broke up with me. Whilst dumping me, he led with, “When you look at me, I think it’s mostly lust.” I was floored. He then continued, “I’ve never before been able to have sex when I’m not emotionally connected to the person. My dick just doesn’t work like that. But with you, it does, even though my heart isn’t in it.” These comments felt like a sharp 180 from the guy who held me til I fell asleep the night before (and often did so), and was telling me the week before how sex is a big deal to him.
I guess I didn’t realize these comments affected me like they did, until I’m out here considering trying to date now, and not wanting to mess it up again if too much sex is a real thing. That’s why I’m asking this sub.
For context, I’m not a prude by any means, but I only have sex in committees relationships. The one in question we did have a lot of sex, but nothing crazy—probably 3-4x a week throughout most of the relationship? And it wasn’t like wild sex, it was just good, basic, penetrative sex and blowjobs. I didn’t do all the initiating, but I’m sure I initiated probably 1 out of every 3 times. And I never told him no or turned him down (admittedly, I loved this person and was attracted to him physically and emotionally—so it didn’t take much to get me going). Before this, I know he had been in a marriage where it sounds like there wasn’t much sex, but only for a couple years.
Anyways, men of the redditverse, is there TOO much sex in a relationship? And if so, does it just make your partner look easy and make you not feel connected to her?