1 year plus post d-day, 2 months post failed R.
did some reflection and journaling today to track my healing progress, the thing that hit me a bit more today was realising that my WP showed quite a number of narcissistic behaviours. And it all became even clearer when he came back to me for what ended up to be false R because he just felt guilty for leaving me, it wasn't remorse for hurting me.
i know his act of infidelity wasn't my fault, and that it was because he lacked something.
but the truth is, with the way everyone is acting about it, forgetting about it and moving forward (including him and his AP); I start to doubt if I didn't react enough or if i over reacted about the whole thing. The betrayal really hurt me a lot, yet I feel really alone as I walk away from the ruins of what was.
everyone around me says I deserve better, and that i should be grateful that I found out about his infidelity before we got engaged. he says he regrets hurting me yet didn't really show much remorse and sincerity to apologise. his family knows what he did and their only comment was "his relationship choices are his own". was i merely a choice that he chose to hurt and didn't matter at all to his family?
i'm already moving forward on my own, some days i just have these running thoughts and today is one of those days that i just needed to pen them down. perhaps some of you can relate too and how did you deal with the self-doubt?