Few experiences over last few months
Girl1: She plans to do PHD at her hometown, won't agree to do it at my hometown or in Bangalore — both are better cities than her city, I should leave my bangalore job which pays 50+ lpa and shift to her hometown to live with her. Just because she wants to do her PHD, and no idea when she will finish her PHD
Girl2: She has completed engineering but doesn't want to work, because her parents have worked hard and made losses in their business, they don't want to see her daughter working. She also says she needs 20k per month maintainance, wants 2 international trips, also bashes her friends husband that he doesn't buy a new rice cooker utensil when relocated to new place (even when old one working fine), she wants everything new when moved to new place. How her husband doesn't take her anywhere etc..
Girl3: she was in long term relationship for 9years and she was in relationship when she was 15years old, tells me on first call that she admires his beard and height, and regrets that her relationship didn't work out, tells me how she tried to make it work etc.. when she already knew I wasn't in any relationship, she tells me I need to have experience and thinks experience is needed.
Girl4: She wants to sacrifice her becoming Judiciary for me (I didn't ask her to sacrifice), she also tells me it's very difficult like upsc exams, so she's unsure if she can crack it, however she says she is ready to sacrifice it for me. Apparently she wants me to support her opening a restaurant/ cafe in a metro city 😬. Says she doesn't believe in gender roles, gives example of how her dad cooks at home and wants equality in household chores. I told her I can cook these and these, and asked if she knows cooking, raises her voice and replies in condescending/dismissing tone 'I know as much as you'. Her job itself is unstable, but questions my career and future aspects.
Girl5: She has 6 cats, she is top position in her job. So she will be busy — So I have to look after home, cooking, also do office work, and take care of her cats. 😂
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I've might have met 40-50 girls overall in last few years. Talked to probably close to 100. Telling you with all experience & learnings.
My advice to the brothers out there, I see lot of men ready to buy flat:
Be selfish.
We work hard, handle production deployments, and manage high-stress careers to build a life of freedom. Do not trade that freedom for someone who views you as a lifestyle upgrade.
If she wants a flat in Bangalore (which is seriously a trending demand), ask her how much she’s contributing to the down payment.
If she wants equality in chores but 'traditional' provision in finances, call out the hypocrisy.
Don't burden yourself with a 30-year EMI just to satisfy a prospect's checklist. If you are a high earner, you are the prize. Stay picky, protect your capital, and wait for a partner who wants to build a life with you, not off of you.