Should I message him?
Should I message him?
Context:
I started exploring my bicuriosity this year. I hooked up with someone on Grindr last January and we hooked up 3 more times since then (just did side, but i wanted him to top me so many times, i jus couldnt clean myself properly so i kept telling him next time).
The first 2 times felt very physical - jus pure physical pleasure. The 3rd and 4th times felt more intense and passionate - enough to make me feel a romantic attraction to him not jus sexual. Suddenly, I went from wanting to suck his dick to jus wanting his company in general (and sucking his dick).
The problem is he has not been online on Grindr for over a month and I kinda don't want to close this chapter in this way. I lowkey want to send a message about how I feel but ive been holding myself back from it since it's kinda cringe. He probably won't read it anyway so it's nice to jus let the feelings out.
What should I do?
PS
I hooked up with other guys too. One was great, the others not so much.
We have never exchanged names, but I know his name cuz his diploma is in his bedroom lol. I wanted to ask his name during our last hookup but chickened out. He did pick me up and drop me off during our last encounter and we make good enough mall talk so it's not super awkward before and after the deed.
Reason I'm feeling very strongly about this is I feel that our connection is evolving, like it's going somewhere? Thats why it sucks so bad that he has not been online since it's gonna stop there. Also, he is the first person I have been with. I never had a bf or gf or fooled around with a girl before.
When I became bicurious, I was mostly interested in guys sexually only, not romantic. But he's making me doubt that and it's scaring me (this is another can of worms that I don't want to open yet)