u/Federal-Practice2638

I’m (34) soon to be 35. I met my partner at work. He’s (37), he has 4 kids with his ex and raised 2 that she had from previous relationship so 6 kids total. Due to health complications I was clinically sterilized, but have talked about adopting and foster care. I’ve mentioned IVF. At one point he said if we did foster care or adopt he’d want a baby. I started talking about kids again and he started avoiding the conversation. I decided I wanted to freeze my eggs. I told him hoping he would be open to try for one when the 2 oldest were adults (17,16). He said no and that he wouldn’t hold it against me if I wanted to leave. I cried, he now acts like nothing happened. I don’t know what to do.
So lately I’ve been depressed, I interact with his children the 2 younger ones and I know I want one of my own. Being a step parent is not the same thing. Side note: being a step mom is not fun. I feel like being a step dad seems easier. His youngest always want to spend time with him, I understand. Unfortunately, we never spend time together because of work. So I end up feeling guilty when he sits down to watch a movie with me and the kids want them to be with them.
I know this relationship will more than likely end, I guess I just need advice on how to process this. How to heal and move forward. I still plan on freezing my eggs 😂😂