Hi. So I have severe harm ocd and been doing actually pretty well for a while now. Haven’t been searching for an aswer and certanty.
But today we were cooking with my spouse and i had awful instrusive thoughts about harm1ng him while using a knive. Like constant thoughts about doing it 😪 and how i just could and i need to and should i. Then i got up and started walking towards our washing machine and when i was putting the knive down i actually stopped for a few seconds TO ACTUALLY think about it and should i and it truly felt like i want to. This happens to me a lot but this was somehow so real because i actually feel like it was me and it was.. hate myself for doing this and now im having urges to actually do it and having should i questions and straight commands towards it just running in my mind. When im in a moment when i need to handle a knive or something potentially dangerous my mind gets so mixed up and i start to feel like i actually want these things. Then after a while i can see it rationally. Im just looking for comfort honestly and people who understand ocd