I (F) was seeing this guy for about a month and a bit. We only hung out 6 times, but the connection felt insanely intense. This is honestly the first time I’ve ever felt chemistry like this with someone. I was in a 4-year relationship before, and I never even felt this level of connection there, which is part of why this is messing with my head so much.
We had the kind of chemistry where we’d stay up until like 5am talking about life, music, everything. The physical chemistry was also really strong. One night we went to a rave together and it honestly felt like one of the best nights of my life.
The thing is… he never really put in effort outside of that. We mostly just hung out at his place, no real dates. Then one day he told me he’s not ready for a relationship and wants to work on himself. I respected that, but we kept seeing each other casually for a bit (my mistake), and of course my feelings got stronger.
I eventually told him I had to step back because I was getting attached. We ended things on good terms. But 4 days later I reached out again because I missed him, and we started flirting again. I sent him a pic and he suddenly got cold and basically shut everything down, saying it’s better to keep the door closed. The final conversation was pretty blunt on his end and that really hurt.
Now it’s been a bit and I cannot get him out of my head. It’s actually affecting me more than I expected — some days I can barely get out of bed, and even when I’m busy or with friends, he’s still constantly on my mind.
I’ve dated other guys before and moved on pretty quickly, but this one feels completely different. It feels like I’m stuck on the memories and the feeling, even though logically I KNOW he wasn’t giving me what I wanted and didn’t want a relationship.
And if I’m being honest… if he texted me right now to hang out again, I would probably say yes, even though I know that would just pull me back into the same situation.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you get over something that was so intense but so short?
I feel like I’m grieving something that barely even existed.