Anyone here who has made friendship a major part of their life? Looking for advice on how to live a friend-oriented life
I’m a man in my early 20s who is going to graduate college in 2027. Right now, I’m in a stage of life where it’s natural to focus on friendships and most people’s lives aren’t as family oriented as they are in the later parts of adulthood. When I started college, I was happy with the idea of eventually settling down, getting married, and making the transitions that most do, but after dating throughout college I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to have children or raise a family. I have a complicated relationship with the family I grew up in and as a gay man having children is much more expensive than it is for most already. I thought that since I was gay, I wouldn’t re create the family dynamics I grew up with— after several relationships I’ve found that to not be the case at all. My relationships isolated me and brought out my worst qualities, and I just tend to like the version of myself and my life that comes about when I focus on my friends.
It’s been easy to re-orient myself around friendship in college but I’m worried about graduating and heading into the part of life that tends to isolate people. Virtually everyone I’ve talked to about life after school mentions the decline of their social life, and the idea of ending up isolated as I age is scary to me. I’d rather be alone than in a life I don’t want, but I’d also like to buck the trend of losing friends as much as I reasonably can. Even when I think about my old age, the version of my future that I look the most forward to is one where I’m in some sort of golden girls situation with a bunch of other friends. To anyone who has been able to have an active social life as they age: any advice on what I can do right now to be like you eventually?