I just read a post that used the phrase "discarded but not abandoned" i think that pretty much sums up the life of those of us where the wayward partner stays and will eventually do it again. They are the cowards for not having the courage to leave and forcing our hand. They are weak and cruel for stringing us along and making us make the decision.
They don't feel what we are feeling, they are just hoping we sweep it under the rug and get back to their normal, as we die more inside and hurt in silence.
We, the betrayed, are left to decide what we will tolerate and if we will decide to live in delusion rather than reality.
Please, if you have an affair, just be kind and leave, and if your wayward partner leaves, count your blessings, because the decision was made for you.
Godspeed