Why do I care about him?
I (30F) was recently seeing a guy from work (40M) for around 4 months. He’s recently separated, has two quite young children and is in a much higher position of power at our workplace. Worst of all, when we started seeing eachother I had a boyfriend. He knew about this, but continued to pursue me anyway. Awful on both our parts, I know. Considering my circumstance things were casual, although our connection was incredibly intense. We would often get dinner, and had a few nights away together. The chemistry between us was crazy; I’m talking that intoxicating, can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you feeling. Despite this, there were always red flags. After we slept together, he’d take hours if not days to reply, would sometimes disappear for 3-5 days with no word of communication, would make flippant yet demeaning comments like “when I first met you I thought ‘I’m going to fuck her’”, would joke about “cancelling my contract” and would give me the cold shoulder if we got into a disagreement (as opposed to just talking it out). Recently, I befriended his sister who also works with us, and she and I became close friends fast. I ended up telling her that he and I had hooked up - because she’d asked, and it felt wrong to lie. He was furious about this, saying it wasn’t my place, and has now abruptly iced me out. He stopped replying to me and pretends I don’t exist at work. Despite the fact it was obvious from the start that this man would never be my happy-ever-after, I feel deeply hurt by his disregard for me. I know that I shouldn’t care about someone who clearly just didn’t really like or respect me, and potentially only wanted sex from me to begin with, but each time he walks past me and doesn’t even glance in my direction I want to cry. Why? Why do I care? I know I was always lowering my standards and disregarding my values for him, I shouldn’t be so hung up. Please offer any advice you have about getting over someone.
TL;DR I hooked up with a guy at work who never treated me very well, and now he’s cut me off I’m hurt and hung up. Why do I care so much?