u/Fast-Lie6067

As an Asian immigrant, respect for your parents is a philosophy that’s not only ingrained since childhood but also a principle that most households live by (which is why cohabitation between generations in Asia households are common). With that in mind, everytime I think about how I cut off my mother, I feel this sense of guilt that I’m honoring her sacrifices and decision in life.

To add context, I cut off my mother years ago for three main reasons.

1.) Her then husband (now ex) was verbally abusive to me

One thing she always emphasized is that without him, I wouldn’t have been able to immigrate to the States. Throughout my time in our home, I would get yelled at and cussed on the daily for asking to be picked up from school, driven, or taken to club events (not parties, I was a nerd - think Math team, Model UN). I know it’s not her. But to be raised in such environment and to see her do nothing when I’m being yelled at and offer little support, was a hard thing to experience as a child.

2.) It felt as though she never prioritized me as a child

She experience a level of guilt as someone who was able to immigrate. As a result, she would often send back thousands of dollars annually to random people who would ask for money. Growing up, we were barely making ends meet, so it was frustrating to experience this knowing I don’t have medical insurance, but she’s financing a relative’s apartment in a different country.

As a result of this financial issue, she often worked and was out of the home for two weeks at a time. For most my life, I only spent a handful of days a month with her. It’s a bit of a negative pov from me, but I almost felt like because she worked so much, it lead me to be distant (and now as an adult I don’t really care to have a relationship with her since we never had one to begin with).

3.) One particular incident was my breaking point

I don’t wanna specify too much coz I don’t wanna doxx myself, but long story short, she told me a bunch of lies that lead to me having a panic attack, and when I found out, she mentioned that she only did it because I was acting as if I was better than everyone.

I’m at peace with the decision. But as Mother’s Day rolled around, and i think about my culture, I feel a sense of guilt over my decision, given my feeling of peace may just be a selfish pov over someone who has made sacrifices for me. Thoughts?

I think there's a level of sadness in watching this crashout happen in real time. I am not trying to infantilize Taylor, nor do I wanna shift the blame given the fact that she's over 30. She is an adult, and she needs to start acting like one.

However, as I peel back the layers of this behavior. It makes me think about how her family and the Mormon culture has built someone so incapable of critical thinking emotionally. Let me explain....

Girls like Taylor are raised under strict rules of conduct, often times under a family that's purely patriarchal. They are raised by literal child mothers, who have little to no experience on how to become an adult. So as a child mirroring behavior, all you are built to think is that these are norms in society. Not all Mormon cultures are like that, but from what I have seen from her family (e.g., her step-father shaming HER for having consensual sex), it seems her development period was filled with learning a skewed view of society.

I think there's a level of misogyny as to why she doesn't think she has done anything wrong. I'm going on the armchair psychology here, but I think because she sees women as inferior (or at least her culture has built that understanding), she thinks her form of developing a "voice" is through dv. She's then validated by her family, because they themselves have similar perspectives.

What's sad is that Taylor is just a large case study, but many girls like her are raised in such constraints. It's kinda like watching Bryce Dallas Howard's character in The Help. She is an awful person, and she deserved everything she got. But you can't help but realize that she's a product of a cycle that molds people like this. Personally, I find it quite sad watching as someone who wasn't raised in such environments, since I personally don't know how severe the unlearning needs to be. It's kinda just like a car crash situation.

Taylor is not blameless in any of this. It is 100% her decision, and she needs to experience the repurcussions.

All in all, she is essentially a misguided person who got validation from millions of people (because of her misguided nature), and never learned that such behavior is not only toxic but actually dangerous. So now, one is basically watching a person who has zero capabilities of telling right and wrong, because her point of view of what's right and wrong is totally skewed by the same society that she uses as a point of validation.

EDIT: it seems there’s a giant misconception that I’m validating and defending Taylor which literally none of this post is about. I’m critiquing Mormon culture and how it molds girls to hate response systems and beliefs similar to Taylor.

The TLDR is Mormon is a cycle that misguides women. Taylor is a misguided person who has made bad decisions. Idk how anyone is saying this is an excuse when I’m neither validating nor excusing her behavior.

https://preview.redd.it/6j4ph4g6f80h1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8e3515b2ea8bc5db89965482720019d947d09c7

The performance isn't bad. His portrayal of homelander has always been incredibly good, even this season. But given he's gotten little to no recognitionf or this role, I thought that the final season could at least push for a narrative. But the season has been absolutely bonkers and fully dedicated to setting up a spinoff rather than closing storylines, so do y'all think if the final season of The Boys was any better, Anthony could've gotten a nom?

As I’m watching this season and the reunion, I’m stating to think that Kyle, in her mind (not to be an armchair psychologist but to be one), kinda places the women into three categories in her brain: Kathy, Kim, or Jamie Lee (I know she’s not a sister but let me cool).

So for the Kathy: she always plays this little sister part, siding with them for the most part but says underhanded comments on confessionals to undermine them to the audience AND eventually plan their downfall (examples: Adrienne, Lisa V)

For the Kim’s: she almost always expects absolute loyalty, and any refusal to will result in their downfall. The planning is easier and less time sensitive since the already have skeletons in their closet just like the real Kim (examples: Brandi, Dorit, Sutton, Teddy)

For the Jamie Lee: she leeches absolutely to their popularity aiming for a similar impact, and when she gets their she then proceeds to go the route of the Kathy, undermining them and making them look bad since BH is her turf and she can’t handle not being the most popular. (Examples: Denise, Garcelle, Rachel)

I think Kyle’s main insecurity is that she was never really the big dog (classic middle child) in her family. When she was younger, it was Kim, and when they got older it was Kathy. The show is a dollhouse that she can use to experience this reality in an enclosed space, and imo that’s why she’ll never leave (unless forced to). If you notice, the crux of this is, Kyle eventually discards or produces the downfall of the women - a move that she can never do with any of her sisters without creating permanent impact to her relationships or reputation (castmastes are castmastes but if she does what she did with the women to her sisters, which she has to a degree, she’ll look awful)