Didn’t know GI/Pelvic Floor related to ED… coming to terms w ED
Hi I’m really scared and don’t know who to talk to. I’ve always struggled w my relationship w food and since November it’s gotten way worse. Just overwhelmed with the options and choices and decision making and nothing ever seems “right”. It feels different than just being afraid of gaining and the calories but I think maybe it wasn’t weird brain trying to convince me it’s not an ED idk. I’ve never thought about myself having one but i ended up in the ER last week and beginning of this week and had had to see a GI and colorectal person this week and have to find a pelvic floor therapist. I have hemorrhoids and a bad fissure and possible pelvic floor issues tbd once I make appointment. If my meds don’t work in 2 weeks I need Botox in my asshole??? If that doesn’t help I need surgery?? On so many new meds and feeling really sucky physically and mentally. I think/ am being told it might all be stemming from my “diet” or lack thereof and I feel “caught” now. I’m just trying to finish grad school and graduate in the summer but I have no motivation and am in so much pain. I’m meeting with new therapists to start this specialized therapy but an old therapist told me basically I need inpatient or I won’t be better but I’ve always been like huh? I’m fine? I also don’t want to even do therapy I don’t think I’m ready for it but I think I need to admit I have an ED but have never said it out loud. Why does is it feel embarrassing. I’m not even skinny since I’m always bloated I don’t look like I’m sick. I’m not really sure my question but I guess has anyone related to any part of my experience?
TLDR; GI/colorectal/pelvicfloor issues making me confront the bane of my existence aka food and showing me I might actually have an ED I’ve never wanted to admit I think. Wondering if anyone relates to any single part of this I feel scared and alone.